He says: “My firm is making a killing with the bounce on equities.”
You say: “Killing or killed? You know what they say, pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered.”
The lowdown: An insidery Wall Street idiom that means it pays to be greedy, but not too greedy (like a hog) or else you could get in trouble — and could end up losing it all.
He says: “Greece is killin’ me, Smalls.”
You say: “Greece was in ruins long ago; the pain is really in Spain. It’s too big to fail, and too big to sail.”
The lowdown: Another pig reference, just remember “PIIGS,” which stands for Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece, and Spain — the European countries which are basically bankrupt at this point.
He says: I went long Apple at $250 per in the middle of 2010, up a cool 100% since.
You say: (mumble: Thinkin’ that is the only thing that is long…) Cool? Cool would have been getting in on the Google IPO, up 480%.
The lowdown: There will always be someone who bought the hottest stock early. Be prepared with a hotter one, and mention you got it at the IPO price.
He says: How ’bout that third drink sweetie?
You say: Sure, only if it’s Johnnie Walker…I own stock in Diageo (DEO).
The lowdown: The world of investing is all around us, from Coca-Cola to Pepsi to Starbucks to booze. Know a couple stock symbols of these mega brands.
He says: My career highlight was meeting Warren Buffett…you know, no big deal or anything.
You say: Cute, mine was cashing in the stock of Berkshire Hathaway that my grandma got me years ago.
The lowdown: It’s better to buy the stock of a great leader than to meet him/her. Watch ‘em on YouTube before you go out!
He says: Can’t wait to buy some Facebook stock when it IPOs.
You say: Yeah, tell me about it, I read the entire S-1 filing in one sitting.
The lowdown: He may be lazy, simply buying Facebook stock because it’s Facebook stock. You, on the other hand, know the ins and outs of the company. #winning